


Parting is such sweet sorrow

by Ellana17



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Episode Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-Episode: s04e12 Smoke & Mirrors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:48:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28451178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellana17/pseuds/Ellana17
Summary: What was he doing here? He could not even muster the courage of looking at Derek in the eyes, even less finally telling him what he had been feeling all that time.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 1
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Stiles’s state of mind at the start of season 5 always seems really freaking weird to me so I kind of came up with something to fill in the blanks.

Stiles had not been able to get a full night of sleep since that evening in La Iglesia. He would get in bed, close his eyes and his thoughts would go straight to Derek, lying on the ground, fighting to catch his next breath, his mouth filled with blood.

Stiles could not take it anymore.

Getting out of bed, Stiles grabbed the jacket on his desk chair, put it on over his pajamas and made his way to his car. He did not have to worry about waking up his dad who was spending the night at the station.

Stiles had always seen Derek as the strong one. Nothing could bring him down and Stiles had been relying on him more and more in times of need. They had been relying on each other, helping each other out and Stiles had not thought it possible for Derek to ever go down like that.

Even now that he knew Derek would be alright, Stiles could not get rid of the fear he had been feeling in that moment. With everything that had been going on in La Iglesia in that moment, Stiles had not been able to fully comprehend how scared he had been for Derek. Maybe the nightmares were his way of processing that night.

Stiles probably broke a few traffic laws making his way to Derek’s loft but he needed to get it all off his chest once and for all. He hoped he could at least get a decent night of sleep if he came clean about what he had been feeling that night… what he had been feeling long before that even.

Stiles did not even have to knock on Derek’s door, the werewolf had opened it as soon as he had heard Stiles’s footsteps in the corridor. He had regained his super hearing at least. Stiles was happy for him.

“Derek, look- You’re leaving?” Stiles asked as soon as he caught sight of the duffle bag near the door.

If Derek was surprised to find him here in the middle of the night, he did not show it.

“Just for a few weeks,” Derek explained. “I’m going to visit Cora.”

Stiles nodded, staring at the duffle bag. Of course Derek would want to see his sister after his brush with death.

“Good,” Stiles said. “That’s good. You deserve a break after everything that happened.”

“Did you need something?” Derek asked calmly.

Stiles looked up suddenly. “Huh? Oh, I- yeah, actually. I need to talk to you,” he stammered.

Derek frowned slightly before stepping away from the door. “Come on in.”

Stiles stepped inside the loft and immediately started pacing. What was he doing here? He could not even muster the courage of looking at Derek in the eyes, even less finally telling him what he had been feeling all that time.

Stiles clasped his hands together to stop them from shaking. When he finally glanced at Derek, the man was looking at him curiously.

Stiles took a deep breath. “Okay, here’s the thing. Seeing you get hurt by that Berserker was the single scariest moment of my life – and let me tell you I had a lot of scary moments in the past few years so that saying something. I really thought that you would not make it. That if I went away to get Scott, you’d be dead by the time I came back and I couldn’t handle it. I still can’t, to be honest. So I need to get this off my chest. I need to be able to let that night behind me and move on and that’s why I need to tell you this. I mean, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? When the people you care about are dying, you don’t want anything to be left unsaid, right?”

“Stiles-”

Stiles shook his head. “No, no, let me finish,” Stiles told him. “I really need to get this off my chest. I love you. I mean, I’m in love with you and-” Stiles stopped, frowning. “You don’t look surprised,” he pointed out. “God, am I that obvious?”

Derek glanced down. “Chemo-signals,” he explained.

Stiles closed his eyes for a second. What an idiot. He should have left it well alone.

“Coming here was a bad idea,” he said. “It’s fine. I needed to tell you anyway. I’m pretty sure a part of me will always love you but I need to move on. I need to-”

Derek’s lips were on his before he could finish his sentence.

Stiles took a step back in surprise. “What are you doing?”

“Kissing you,” Derek pointed out.

Stiles glared at the man. “Yeah, I get that, what I don’t get is why!”

“Because I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.”

“Oh, alright then,” Stiles said before crushing their lips together.

When Stiles woke up the next morning, it took him a few seconds to remember where he was. The other side of the bed was cold and empty, the duffle bag that had been there the night before was gone and Derek was nowhere in sight.

Stiles sighed and let his head hit the pillow. He would not cry. He would not. He had not asked Derek to stay because he knew deep down that Derek needed to leave in order to clear his head. Derek needed to deal with what had happened to him on his own. Stiles refused to be the one holding him back.

Derek would only be gone for a few weeks, Stiles could wait for him to come back and mend his broken heart. He only hoped that his heart had not been broken beyond repair.


	2. Chapter 2

_“Derek-”_

_“I love you too.”_

Six months later

Stiles woke up in his bed, alone. Damn, he had had that dream again. Ever since Derek had skipped town six months prior, Stiles had not been able to get their night together out of his head. At least now when Stiles closed his eyes, he saw Derek’s naked chest instead of the gushing wound made by the Berserker. That had to be an improvement, right?

Stiles sighed and rolled out of bed without much conviction. Every day had been a little harder since Derek had left but Stiles had been strong enough not to call him and beg him to come back like he wanted to. Stiles was many things but he was not selfish.

Stiles had not talked about what had happened to any of his friends. Scott and Kira were in their own little bubble, as usual, oblivious to the rest of the world. Lydia would not have been sympathetic in the least, and would probably tell him to grow a pair and call the guy. As for Malia… Talking to her about Derek would have just been plain awkward. “Hey, by the way, I’m in love with your cousin.” Stiles was a dick but he was not that much of a dick.

So Stiles had been suffering in silence all these months and his so called friends had not noticed a thing. He had to admit that that was a little hurtful. Even his dad had been oblivious to his heartbreak and, while Stiles was deeply hurt by it, he would not have wanted to talk about his feelings for Derek to his dad of all people anyway.

Stiles’s broken heart had not been on the top of their priority list since they had learned about Tracy’s night terrors. Right now, Stiles really wished Derek were still in Beacon Hills. He would have known what to do at least.

For now, the pack was gathered in Stiles’s home, as Stiles was once more trying to tell Scott that Theo should not be trusted.

“I don’t trust the guy,” Stiles said. “I’m telling you, there’s something fishy about him.”

He glared at Scott who glared back and only looked away when someone knocked on the front door.

“That’s probably Lydia,” Kira said.

Malia frowned slightly and shook her head. “It’s not Lydia,” she told them.

Stiles paid no mind to Scott’s confused look and practically ripped the door open. His friend was stating to piss him off.

Then, his anger reached new heights when Stiles realized who was standing on his porch.

Derek freaking Hale.

“Hello, Stiles,” the man said.

After all that time, Stiles saw red. He punched Derek in the face so hard he genuinely thought he had broken his hand for a second.

Derek winced and lifted a hand to his face. “Glad to see you too.”

“What are you doing here?” Stiles asked.

“Can I come in?”

“Yes,” Scott said from inside the house.

“No,” Stiles exclaimed, almost shutting the door on Derek’s face.

“What’s going on?” Kira asked curiously.

Derek sighed. “Look, Stiles, can we talk?”

“Oh, now he wants to talk!” Stiles exclaimed.

Derek growled. “Hey, you don’t get to do that, Stiles. You don’t get to be angry with me for leaving.”

“And why is that?” Stiles asked angrily.

“Because you didn’t ask me to stay.”

“You didn’t _want_ to stay!”

“Did _you_ want me to stay?”

“Of course I did, you- you moron! How could I not?”

They stared down at each other.

“So, what’s going on?” Liam asked as the silence started to turn awkward.

“Shut up, Liam,” Stiles said without turning around. “The grown ups are talking. You know what,” he added, practically shoving Derek out and closing the front door behind them. “You wanted to talk, so talk.”

“I don’t understand why you’re so angry with me, Stiles,” Derek told him. “I told you I was leaving.”

“For a few weeks, Derek,” Stiles reminded him. “You were gone for _six months_! You could have called, send an email, anything, just to let me know you were still alive.”

“You were… worried about me?”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Of course I was worried, Derek! I’m in love with you, that’s part of the package deal.”

“I- I’ve missed you,” Derek said and Stiles’s anger disappeared at once.

He sighed. “I’ve missed you too,” he told Derek.

Then, Stiles did what he had wanted to do since the start. He wrapped both arms around Derek’s neck and crushed their lips together in an almost painful kiss. How he had missed that feeling, he realized.

As Derek’s hands came into contact with his cheeks, gently framing his face, Stiles barely registered the sound of footsteps coming towards them.

“Oh, you’re here,” Lydia said nonchalantly. She did not look surprised in the least to find Derek back in Beacon Hills after six months and even less so to find Stiles wrapped around the man. “So… finally realized that breaking Stiles’s heart was the wrong move, did you?”

“How do you even know about that?” Stiles exclaimed.

Lydia only shrugged. “I know everything, Stilinski. You should know that by now.” Then she turned to Derek. “Well, I’m glad to see you, we could really use your help right now.”

“I know,” Derek told her.

Stiles frowned. “Wait, how did you know we were in trouble?”

“Your dad called me,” Derek told him, avoiding his eyes.

“My _dad_ called you?” Stiles shrieked.

“I told him to call if anything weird happened.”

“I can’t believe this,” Stiles groaned, shaking his head.

He really hated his life sometimes.

THE END


End file.
